How to help a child overcome bullying: 10 practical steps for parents

A child who is being bullied may not always have the words or confidence to explain what is happening.

Some keep quiet because they fear retaliation, while others worry that reporting the problem will make their situation worse.

Parents therefore have an important role in recognising the signs, establishing what is happening and making sure the child receives protection.

Helping a child overcome bullying is not about teaching them to tolerate abuse.

It is about restoring their confidence while ensuring those responsible are held accountable.

Here are 10 practical steps.

1. Listen without judging

Give the child an opportunity to explain what has been happening.

Avoid interrupting, dismissing their experience or asking what they did to provoke the aggressor.

Reassure them that they are not responsible for someone else's decision to hurt or humiliate them.

2. Establish what is happening

Ask specific questions about who is involved, where the incidents occur, how often they happen and whether other learners have witnessed them.

Establish whether the problem involves physical attacks, insults, exclusion, threats or online harassment. Record important details.

3. Prioritise the child's safety

Where there are physical threats, injuries, intimidation or sexual abuse, take immediate steps to protect the child.

Do not encourage them to confront an aggressive pupil or fight back.

Where necessary, involve the school administration, healthcare professionals or relevant authorities.

4. Report the matter to the school

Contact the class teacher, guidance and counselling department or headteacher.

Explain what the child has reported and provide specific examples.

For persistent or serious incidents, make a written report and retain a copy.

The school needs enough information to investigate and respond.

5. Request a clear safety plan

Ask the school how it will protect the child while addressing the bullying.

This may include increased supervision, identifying a trusted teacher, monitoring unsafe areas, adjusting seating arrangements or ensuring safe movement around school.

The child should not be punished or unnecessarily isolated because they reported bullying.

6. Teach calm, firm responses

Where it is safe, help the child practise short, confident responses such as telling an aggressor to stop.

Teach them to walk away rather than engage in a fight and seek help from a trusted adult.

These skills can improve confidence, but they should never replace intervention by responsible adults.

7. Rebuild confidence through activities

Encourage the child to participate in activities they enjoy, whether sports, music, art, drama or school clubs.

Such activities can help children rediscover their abilities, develop friendships and regain confidence.

The objective is not to change the child's personality to please bullies.

8. Deal with cyberbullying carefully

For online harassment, preserve screenshots, messages, account details and other relevant evidence before blocking the aggressor.

Report abusive content to the relevant platform and inform the school where classmates are involved.

Avoid retaliating, forwarding humiliating material or encouraging the child to engage in online arguments.

9. Seek professional support

Persistent anxiety, depression, sleep difficulties, withdrawal and school refusal may require support from a qualified counsellor or mental health professional.

Take any mention of self-harm or suicide seriously and seek urgent professional help.

Do not assume the problem will disappear once the bullying stops.

10. Follow up and escalate when necessary

Continue checking whether the behaviour has stopped and whether the child feels safe.

Kenya's Children Act, 2022, under Section 22, prohibits psychological abuse of children and expressly addresses online abuse, including cyberbullying and cyber harassment.

Parents can also report child-protection concerns through the Government's National Child Helpline 116, which operates free of charge, 24 hours a day.

WhatsApp support is available on 0722 116 116.

The service connects children and families to trained counsellors, child-protection officers and other support services.