How Lifelong Friends Help You Live Longer

Theyve been having a better time together for more than 60 years. And its paid off. Reviews of more than 148 different studies show that long, meaningful relationships reduce mortality risk.

Originally, itd been Carl and Zoe (my grandparents), and Ken and Nancy, Dick and Nancy, John and Janet, the Haaralas, the Carlsons. The Happy Gang. It was Carl who started calling them that, because every time this crew of since-retired teachers and school administrators and counselors got together, he noticed that everyone seemed so, well, happy.

The men started their careers in education around the same time, all in their mid-20s to early 30s, all living within 25 miles of one another, all with a sensibility that bent toward mischief. They joined a bowling league together. This was about 1957.

They eventually brought their wives around and found everyone got along. Better, they had a great time. So bowling became dinner at each others houses. That turned into late-night card parties that turned into vacations with the families. And the vacation became a still-standing appointment in Florida every spring break and extended trips all over the country throughout retirement.

The gang rang in the millennium together, all not quite sure what was going to happen but knowing they all wanted to be around one another mixing cocktails if something did. In a 50-year blink, a friendship was forged, a mix of ease and effort and humor and appreciation and openness.

They do the work-that doesnt feel like work-of friendship.

Theyd reach for one another as easily as youd reach for a favorite book. As children grew older and retirement came, and members of the Happy Gang-or even children of members-got sick and passed on, the others still showed up and still made plans, and checked in, and went to the card parties.

They do the work-that doesnt feel like work-of friendship, have done so all these years, because it makes life more fun, more fulfilling. So Carl and Zoe now drive 150 miles south once a month, at 80-some years old, to make it to a card game, or to a dinner where theyll sit at their spot and hear Ken tell the story again about lighting his hair on fire as a vice-principal years ago. Because thats how they keep the friendship (and each other) going.